surreal...

anakngtokwa..

just when you think everything's ok..

biglang- anlabo naman oh!!!

what the hell is wrong with you?!!

better yet... what the hell is wrong with ME??!!!!!!!!

I think I need a shrink..

catatonic?

often, friends notice me staring blankly at things- the sky- trees- even billboards outside - my ref or my monitor. i'd often say ala lang.. years ago i said "i wish we could just sumhow die and escape from it all and live again probably after  two or three days"
.. i think i found a way to just leave evrything behind - has anyone of you tried yung you're just sitting sa inidoro tas you're just staring at the tiles thinking of nothing? nothing at all! this blog might seem baliw to you but doesn't it feel good to "not think" khet minsan lang? well..come to think of it .. not all tulala moments eh hindi ka nag-iisip.. pero there's this moment na you're just sitting there gazing intently at something or someone and you're ..OUTTA THERE!!.. CRAZY?..slight.. hweheheheh 

onting bitternesssss

See I dont, know why, I liked you so much I gave you all of my trust I told you, I loved you, now thats all down the drain Ya put me through pain, I wanna let u know what I feel Fuck what I said it dont mean shit now Fuck the presents might as well throw em out Fuck all those kisses, it didnt mean jack Fuck you, you #$%^&, I dont want you back Fuck what I said it dont mean shit now Fuck the presents might as well throw em out Fuck all those kisses it didnt mean jack Fuck you, you #@$%^&*(, I dont want you back You thought, you could Keep this shit from me, yeah Ya burnt #$%^&*, I heard the story Ya played me, ya even gave #@$%^&* Now ya askin for me back Ya just another @#$%^&, look elsewhere Cuz ya done with me Fuck what I said it dont mean shit now Fuck the presents might as well throw em out Fuck all those kisses it didnt mean jack Fuck you, you *&^%, I dont want you back Fuck what I said it dont mean shit now Fuck the presents might as well throw em out Fuck all those kisses it didnt mean jack Fuck you, you )^%!!!, I dont want you back Ya questioned, did I care You could ask anyone, I even said Ya were my great one Now its, over, but I do admit im sad It hurt real bad, I cant sweat that, cuz I loved a $#%^&* Fuck what I said it dont mean shit now Fuck the presents might as well throw em out Fuck all those kisses it didnt mean jack Fuck you, you (*&%^$#, I dont want you back!!!!

on masochism, moving on and more blahs!

heard someone say that we Filipinos love to sulk..

that we derive pleasure from wallowing in pain.

then we'd find reason to plunge into kegs and barrels of alcohol..

hell, we'll always find numerous reasons

so we could drink!

this i hate most though--

has anyone of you waken up feeling scant and drained?

aimless, helpless, hurting, self-pitying and shit..

i then said that the best way to move on was to find a "rebound person"..

..i was wrong..

nuff crap..  nuff crying.. nuff hurting (other people)

leave me be, if i try what i think

is the most formidable way to rid one's self of the pain.

turn it to rage..

extreme vehemence..

diversion is a key am about to use..

too vile? m goin to hell anyway..haha!

nah!

forgiveness will come in due time.

meanwhile........

"panglao"

It was beautiful. Even here in the dark, nothing can rob it of its beauty. The vastness of the sea together with the thousand eyes of the stars looking down at me in the paradise of Panglao, shelters me in the sweet cocoon of its embrace. I walked alone in the sugar sand, disturbing whatever serenity nature had posed on it. I looked down but couldn’t see traces of my footsteps in the sand, there was not enough light. I stared straight ahead, across the empty sea, distant lights from passing boats pay tribute to its magnificence, but still there was nothing ahead. Whatever light there was in the far regions this immenseness is not enough to cover the darkness. Emptiness is far too much. I stared at the water and felt the saline taste of the wind against my face. And slowly a single tear fell, joining my solitude. There was the sea, me and my tears. There was you, me and nothing else. I tasted the saltiness of my tear. A single tear which seems to take forever to reach my lips. Minutes, seconds of forever. I looked straight but all I could see is this pool of black. I got up from my new found haven not bothering to dust off the sand from my shorts. Before I bid goodbye, I looked up at the grand display of the universe above me. Hundreds, thousands of stars... In spite of the darkness surrounding them, all I see is their light. It isn’t much, but it’s enough. Enough to stop my tears, enough to at least make me smile. 

I smiled at the vastness around me, grateful for its company. I hope that there is more I could do to repay it for its comfort. Thousands, millions, had come and marveled and paid homage to its magic, but only a few, perhaps none, really stayed.

the beach, the darkness, tequila, and solitude.. ahhhhh....

ano??

  waaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahhaah!!! Live-in na daw to!!yyiiiiihaaaaahh!!

movin out.. gonna move to bryan's hacienda this weekend.. ahehe.. we're sobrang excited!! packed my things na, well..sum of dem.. new house.. pero without my chito.. kse di sya pede dun.. babalik ko sa tatay nya.. hahaha..huhuhu... tangna.

da beach da beach!

my song por da day...Ü

baby i love your way- big mountain

Shadows grow so long before my eyes
And they're moving across the page
Suddenly the day turns into night
Far away from the city
Well, don't hesitate, 'cause your love won't wait...
Ooo, baby, I love your way, everyday
Wanna tell you I love your way, everyday
Wanna be with you night and day
Moon appears to shine and light the skies
With the help of some fireflies
Wonder how they have the power to shine
I can see them under the pine
But don't hesitate, 'cause your love won't wait...
Ooo, baby, I love your way, everyday
Wanna tell you I love your way, everyday
Wanna be with you night and day
But don't hesitate, 'cause your love won't wait...
I can see the sunset in your eyes
Brown and grey, blue besides
Clouds are stalking islands in the sun
Wish I could buy one out of season
But don't hesitate, 'cause your love won't wait...
Ooo, baby, I love your way, everyday
Gonna tell you I love your way, everyday
Wanna be with you night and day

.. reggae mode.... wanna go bak sa beach...alala ko beach pag naririnig ko to..hihihi... haaaaaaaayyyy...gusto ko magrelak.wakekekeke!!magduyan, magmuni-muni, yosi, beer..tas naririnig mo yung alon.. tas white sand..tas libre (?) tas myamya sunset.. tas myamya stars na at moon... tas tulog..zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....SOON!

sayang posing ang layo ng lolo..

yiheeeeee

Somewhere, lost in the wind
I'm watching you
Sunlight touching your hair
And I remember
Somehow, we said that we would never stray
But somehow we lost our way
Promises too often spoken
Are easily broken apart

I'm ready this time
I know that I'm no longer undecided
Don't wanna be
A fool wondering what might have been

Trace of forever lingering
Drawing me closer to you
A new beginning
Now I know
There is no doubt I understand
Just how fragile love can be
I can't forget
Your mem'ry found me
Now I know where I belong

I'm ready this time
I know that I'm no longer undecided
Don't wanna be a fool wondering
What might have been
Through every day, into the night
With only love to guide us
I'm ready to go, coz I've got to know
What might have been
Let the lovin' decide, I can't run, I can't hide

I want you to know
My heart will show that I'm ready this time
I know that I'm no longer undecided
Don't wanna be, a fool wondering what might have been
I've searched everywhere, and nothing compares
When we've got love to guide us
I'm ready to go, coz I wanna know what might have been
I'm wondering what might have been
We're gonna find what might have been
Oh I wanna know what might have been

...way way ready......1..2..3..game!

same ground ni kitchie

ndi eh!!!... months ago i used to feel exactly like this.. yun korus tsong!!.....taenang kanta to...share ko lang narinig ko kanina sa mcdo habang nagkakape..mga wrong decisions.. tama bang gnun? mali ba pag ganyan? in the end it will all boil down sa pagsunod kung ano tlga gusto mo..khet ano pa yun, meron laging paraan..gagawan at gagawan mo ng dahilan...and in the end.. papaniwalaan mo kung sino at ano ang gusto mo paniwalaan .. kung sadyang matigas ulo mo.. kung nabubuhay ka sa pilosopiyang "no regrets"...welkam to da klub!! alak pa pre! hehe.. at khet wrong grammar at alang "people skills" si kitchie nadal, ayos tong kantang to! .. sa tingin ko ha....... was parang a "HELLO!!!!???" song na rin...and in da end ulet-  asan ako ngayon- m happy...astiiiiiiggg!! UP fight! shot? hehehe

My love,
Its been a long time since i cried
and left you out of the blue.
Its hard leaving you that way when
I never wanted to.

Self-denial is a game
Its strange i never would've
wanted ..until there was you.

Because i have learned that love is beyond
what humans can imagine,
the more it clears the more i have to let you go.

[Chorus:]
But now i don't understand why im feeling
so bad now when i know it was my idea.
i could've just denied the truth and
lied. but why am i the only one standing stranded
on the same ground?

My love,

because i have learned that love is a
word

gets thrown a little bit too much
the best excuse to fill the infinite abyss is
i never have to

[Chorus:]
i don't understand why im feeling
so bad now when i know it was my idea.
i could've just denied the truth and
lied. but why am i the only one standing stranded
on the same ground?

if all else fails

would you be there to love me?
when all else fails, would you be brave to see right
through me?